Opposite Subclasses (April Fools 2022): Artificer
For April Fool's Day, I thought it would be fun/funny to make drafts of subclasses designed to fulfill the opposite of the class design. Obviously these are very thrown together subclasses with no playtesting and no balance changes, so use them at your own discretion! I also decided after writing a few that I'm going to release them one by one.
Artificer Specialty of Deconstruction
While most artificers specialize in making new things, you specialize instead in taking apart and breaking things. You come of great use when a selfish lord or villain wants to destroy a magical item permanently, or destroy anything else that people have worked hard to create. You thrive on deconstruction, and taking things apart.
Tool Proficiency: When you adopt this specialization at 3rd level, you gain proficiency with tinker's tools. If you already have this proficiency, you gain proficiency with one other type of artisan's tools of your choice.
Starting at 3rd level, you always have certain spells prepared after you reach particular levels in this class, as shown in the Armorer Spells table. These spells count as artificer spells for you, but they don't count against the number of artificer spells you prepare.
Distort Value, Illusory Script
Shatter, Warding Wind
Nondetection, Remove Curse
Control Water, Sickening Radiance
Dominate Person, Passwall
Also at 3rd level, you've learned how to tinker with magical items, so as to disenchant or remove the magic from them. Whether this is as simple as scratching off carved runes or prying off an enchanted gemstone, to as challenging as breaking the item apart to remove internal components and render the item inoperable, depends on the rarity and quality of the item in question.
To remove magic from a magical item, you must spend an action making an Intelligence check while your Tinker's tools, and spend desired spell slots (minimum of 1). The total spell levels of the slots spent is added to your Tinker roll as a modifier. Example follows the table.
Magical Item Rarity
Ex. You wish to deconstruct an Immovable Rod that is blocking your parties path. The rod is an uncommon magical item, thus the DC is 20. You will roll a d20, add your Intelligence modifier, proficiency bonus, and must spend at least one spell slot. Because this Immovable Rod is critical to move at this time, you decide to burn a first and second level spell slot, for an additional bonus of +3. If your total result is 20 or better, you manage to turn the Immovable Rod into Any Old Rod, and it's magical effects end immediately.
NOTE: It is worthwhile to track which items you successfully deconstruct.
At 5th level, you have gained enough experience tinkering with magical items that you have a rudimentary understanding of how most of them work. When you would have to roll an ability check, or saving throw, as the result of the effect(s) of a magical item, you do so with advantage. In addition, you have advantage on any ability checks, or saving throws made to make use of, or interact with magical items.
At 9th level, you've deconstructed enough items to know how to construct them from the ground up. Provided you have enough gold, or the required items/components (as determined by you and your GM) you may make rolls on the Deconstruction table, to construct magical items that you have deconstructed at least three times.
Breaker Of Things
By 15th level, no items or objects are safe from your crafty, disassemblers you call hands. You gain advantage on your Deconstruction rolls. In addition, you can roll to deconstruct any mundane item at DC10. Locks, doors, chests, chandeliers, portcullises, nothing is safe anymore. You'll break anything you can get your hands on.